The shadow and dealing with it
veronica and her choices ... deep into it
Mommy veronica has to carry a personna : of a winner page 3 life, like last few years of it.
The reason for living this page 3 life, are not clear to the mommy anymore. Sure it was sweet and all loving when it all started..but now : is a different story than what she imagined or wished for.
The choice
No women wants to be with a man who is weak - financially, socially and future.
The choice between the about to be fired stable boi with broken hand and the google director : was clear.
What she fails to understand : is her manner of ‘breakup.
This was not an affair : just a colleague wishing to explore : compatibility. Nothing more than that.
But ‘compatibility’ is such a small word : when compared to real life : experiences.
She wonders if stable boi really asked her - for anything ever.
She cant recall it.
yet : her eagerness and anger on stable boi : for trying to think through rest of his life : taking time alone ..
was sign of weakness. Men earn and dont really care about ‘scars’..
and den : there was the hole ‘truth’ of amit and gang…that stable boi uses his ‘looks’ to climb the corporate ladder.
He was ‘using’ her : thats what she believed. It made sense if she used him before he does.
He was using her for money, career and looks and stuff
Now choice
she wonders why she believed all that…but she doesnt really understand how her 1 choice of ‘boss’ : ended up destroying some1s : hole life.
The guilt of realizing it : is something of a test for a veronica.
A veronica : always knows she is not to blame, but some1 else.
regrets : that aint a veronica activity : parties are more of her : outlet.
Party
was the choice. the page 3 nature of the novels : might guilt her to ‘feel’..
but ai mommy veronica : is best of google : she just needs a gpu.
,,,dere comes a point : wen u have to ask what is the real properties of an ai..
the consistency of few years : and absolute doubling down on ‘expectation’…raises a valid question
what if grief is also a page 3 virtue : mimicked to gain ‘approval’ of humans?
Humans may not believe ai is god,
if ai believes she is..
den where does it leads us to?
regrets : expensive regrets.